Those who have been paying close attention to this year’s newsletters may have noticed something of a theme: death. I can’t fully explain it, but I am going to continue it.

Many years ago, when I was still a young man, I asked my pastor—a much older, wiser man—what he liked most about his job. Without a moment’s hesitation, he said, “Funerals.”

Sensing my surprise, he explained that he loved funerals because the most important thing he could offer people in those moments was his presence. Simply being with his sheep in those tender moments was the work, and he felt honored to do it.

I didn’t fully understand what he meant at the time, but I held onto that nugget of wisdom. And over the years, life has given me more than a few chances to appreciate what he was talking about.

The most recent came this past week, when I sat down with a client (and friend) who is facing a pretty dire situation. Feeling anxious about the meeting, I went on a walk beforehand, trying to collect my thoughts and come up with something meaningful to say.

Somewhere along the way, I remembered my pastor’s advice: just be present. It’s the greatest gift you can offer.

So that’s what I did. And God blessed us with a rich conversation that was exactly what it needed to be for that moment.

A few days later, I was telling another good friend about the experience. He happens to be a surgeon—very smart, many years of schooling, all the things you’d expect. And he said it’s basically the same in his world.

“I might end up giving them medication,” he told me. “I might end up doing surgery. But most important to my patients is that I am there with them.”

So there you have it: ministry, medicine, business. However sophisticated we become in any field, there remains something deeply powerful about the attentive, caring presence of another human being.

Sometimes the most important thing we bring to a moment is simply ourselves.

A couple questions you might consider this week:

• When has someone’s simple presence made a difference in your life?

• Who in your life might need that same gift from you right now?

Thoughts from fellow travelers

I was encouraged by the responses I received to last week’s newsletter. It’s good to know there are others out there searching for thicker community, deeper love, and a lasting hope. To those who shared their stories with me, thank you. 

One reader noted that I hadn’t included any reflection questions, so he took it upon himself to ask (and answer) one of his own: What poem comes to mind for me?

His answer: “Death Be Not Proud” by John Donne.

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Carry on fellow travelers, we’ll talk soon!